He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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