What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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