Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
