At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
