quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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