How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
