I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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