Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
