he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
