Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Text me some of your sweat
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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