Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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