I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
