big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
