I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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