He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
