haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You took a bar mat shot.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
