When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
