she was so not down for the gang bang
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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