He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
