need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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