White coat. Heels.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
