just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize