Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
ttyl tear gas
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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