You can't motorboat a personality
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
