he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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