you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
