is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize