just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
