the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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