i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
