Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
