im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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