ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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