Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
