i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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