giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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