A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize