You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
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