There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
