So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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