sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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