I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
