i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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