he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
