I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
