o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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