Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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