Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
