She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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