Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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