How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She bit a glass in half.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
