I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
