My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
