i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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