I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
COCAINE IS GR8
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
