think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
