carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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