she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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