so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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