She's JV to your varsity
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
