I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
