I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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