What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
